Samoa gets to jump a day
I want to jump one, too
I want to jump next Monday
And avoid the Monday blues

I want to jump next Tuesday
When my mum-in-law is staying
I want to jump next Wednesday
When my gas bill’s due for paying

I want to jump next Thursday
So I don’t teach my Year 10s
I want to jump next Friday
Straight into the next weekend

If I can have a two for one
I’ll take a Mon and Tues
And jump straight into Wednesday
Come on, how can you refuse?

If there’s a buy two get one free
I’ll take the Wed to Fri
And jump from Tues straight into Sat
And kiss the week goodbye

I don’t mind jumping further
Say, to Friday night from Mon
And have my life in weekends
Leaping straight from fun to fun

Samoa gets to jump a day
I want to have a go
I think I’d say ‘Samoa of that!’ ...

But I bet the answer's no.

© Fran Hill

Samoa to jump forward in time by one day
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Fran lives in the West Midlands (UK). She teaches English in a local secondary school, writes, performs, blogs, tweets and tries to resist chocolate. www.ilurveenglish.blogspot.com

Just a few days ahead of our local elections, here in the UK, it seemed an appropriate moment to dash off a limerick. However, the Muse directed me away from our own politicians, and pointed a finger at Silvio Berlusconi. How could I resist?

A heartfelt piece, written in the wake of Osama Bin Laden's death, suggests that freedom is a fantasy. Kulsoom Mirza is a third year University student and, 'The Fantasy of Freedom' is the first of her poems we've published at Poetry24.

Paul Levy was inspired by what he considered to have been a 'Disney weekend'. In fact, 'Cheers (big ears), But No Cigar' highlights the way we see news stories that are important to us. In the case of football (soccer) Bill Shankly, a former Liverpool FC manager, famously stated, “Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.” West Ham will testify, I'm sure.

Clare's irreverent recollections of that wedding, one week on, raised smiles and eyebrows, causing those who tried both at once, to look slightly manic. And, to round out the week, Philip Challinor's timely 'Noblesse Oblige' will have struck a chord with many…particularly those Liberal Democrats who regard the Conservatives as "ruthless, calculating and very tribal."

If you've been thinking about writing (and sending!) something topical - now is a really good time... and it could be YOUR name up in lights here next week!

Don't wave your order papers this time, chaps;
Though triumph tempt you, do not cheer and yelp.
These are not merely poor folk, but the help:
They may be stupid, but they're useful saps.

Though victory be sweet, don't gloat in it.
Remember that the future will be blue,
And make me seem a statesman fine and true
Instead of just a nasty little squit.

© Philip Challinor

AV and local elections: don't gloat in public, triumphal Tories told
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Philip blogs at 'The Curmudgeon' - He insists, "You'll come for the curses. You'll stay for the mudgeonry." Philip is the author of a number of books.

We’re thrilled, elated, quite bewitched
That Will and Kate are getting hitched.
There hasn’t been a Royal bash
Since that funeral (post-crash).
Now out across the royal domain
The Union Jack shall fly again!
Across the land are bands of Nanas
Knitting flags and painting banners.

Cometh the day, cometh the man:
The good, the great, the also-ran:
The organ swells, with trumpets blaring
Bloody Hell! What’s Beatrice wearing?
How’s she going to find a hubby
Channelling a Tellytubby?
Every balustrade is burnished
Here’s the queen with David Furnish,

And David Cameron showing that
His wife cannot afford a hat.
The gathered crowd all strain their necks
To sneer and bitch at Posh and Becks.
But nothing’s shabby, nothing sinister
In the Abbey of Westminister
Where trees are in the congregation
(To give Prince Charles some conversation).

And every rank of royal vermin
Spank themselves with whips of ermine
Then gird their loins, and tighten trusses
To board the sordid minibuses.
Wave a flag and find a hankie!
Here’s Queenie tucked up with a blankie
And if she nods off, quite serene,
It’s Philip’s job to poke the Queen.

The BBC shows maps as graphic:
Weren’t they lucky with the traffic?
When in the Mall the multitude
Of unwashed plebs is in the mood.
Watching Bishops march in rows
(not diagonally as we’d supposed).
Then after singing and ‘I do’s’
It’s time for canapés and booze!

‘All back to ours!’ cries Mum, her Highness,
‘Put away all thoughts of shyness
To the balcony, migrate
A million subjects at the gate!’
Camilla does a baby dangle
As, photographed from every angle,
It’s: ‘Touch my sword’ and ‘Touch my lily’
‘Kiss me Kate! Yes, kiss me Willy!’

© Clare Kirwan
Royal Wedding Guests in Pictures
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Clare Kirwan is a serious poet who also sometimes writes silly stuff... or vice versa. She blogs as Broken Biro in a silly and serious way. www.clarekirwan.co.uk

My daughter remarked this was a Disney
weekend; a prince married a ‘commoner’
and the U.S. helicopter cavalry
killed the bad man to save
the world - again.
In truth, none of this actually matters to me
but what would have been really magical
would have been West Ham getting three points
away to City - all things considered
that would have been a miracle.

© P.A. Levy

West Ham match report
-------------------------------------------------
P.A. Levy has been published in many magazines, both online and in print, from ‘A cappella Zoo’ to ‘Zygote In My Coffee’, and is a founding member of the Clueless Collective.

A free world, you say?
What a joke, I reply.
Where is it when a man
can’t even burn a Quran,
when a boy can’t burn a poppy
without a fine to cause frenzy.

A free world, you say?
What a joke, I reply.
Debt: the shiniest of shackles.
Money: the canal of all evils.
Poverty, tell me, are they free?
Starvation. Wouldn’t that make you angry?

A free world, you say?
What a joke, I reply.
Where is it when thousands are in pain,
dying and dead, in Libya, Syria and Bahrain.
Ongoing wars in Uganda, Afghanistan, Congo.
Battles that began long, long ago.

A free world, you say?
What a joke, I reply.
Bin Laden is dead,
“we’re moving ahead,” they said.
Free from his satanic wars,
but what of yours?

A free world, you say?
What a joke, I reply.

© Kulsoom Mirza

US reveals Bin Laden leak fears
---------------------------------------
Kulsoom Mirza is a third year University student studying English with Creative Writing. Friend of books, against hate and violence, pro peace and a lover of music.

Colourful Silvio's ways
Are certain to shock and amaze.
Although repartee
Doesn't guarantee 'free',
The rumour is, sometimes he pays.

© Martin Hodges

Italy PM Silvio Berlusconi appears in corruption case
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Martin is a writer, and former columnist. He has twice been editor of Viewpoint (a forum for INDEPENDENT internal comment within the University of Southampton), and is co-founder of Poetry24.