Underwriting is not exciting.
Underwriting is exacting.

Calculating risk
with the precision necessary
to allow a person to
do what they
want or need to do.

If they were not underwritten,
their more limited lives
might be wrecked
by overwhelming consequences
from an unforeseen event.

An underwriter is not driven by testosterone.
Underwriters do not hone reflexes
with an adrenalin fix.

The data of a lifetime of claims
The judgement of a reasoning mind.
The quality of a professional hand
The premium.

Quality is unlawful now,
e-quality is enacted.
Under the writing of the judges
I am retired
and it is to them
the future is ensured.

© Malcolm Saunders (Malpoet)

ECJ ruling to outlaw gender inequality a "horrible mistake"
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Retired, cantankerous, libertarian and occasionally a poet, I am probably malodorous, but seek to avoid being malicious or malevolent so I vent malapert musings through malpoetry. Malpoet blog

There is a diamond geezer
worth a bob or two.
He had a scheme to bank on
at the cost of me and you.

A bunch of merchant bankers
and their mates from public school
found a way to have a yacht life
that they thought was really cool.

You take a punt on dodgy markets
that might just make a mint
but if it all goes pear shaped
you never will go skint.

When times get rough, some tax cash
will bail us all out.
Wait things out a while,
then back in with your snout.

Get more cash in with charges
on the plebs with overdrafts,
then stack your wad with bonuses
and shares to stash away.

Merlin the magician
couldn't conjure more than us.
There are diamonds in those boardrooms
and they couldn't give a toss.

© Malcolm Saunders (Malpoet)

Barclays chief executive Bob Diamond gets £6.5m bonus

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Retired, cantankerous, libertarian and occasionally a poet, I am probably malodorous, but seek to avoid being malicious or malevolent so I vent malapert musings through malpoetry. Malpoet blog

My salary is a few dinars
I only have a tent
I am not a President.

How can I resign?
I have no authority.
My country is run by the masses.

I ordered the military
to go home
and not fire their weapons.

How can I do crimes?
Libya has no king, no parliament, no president.
There are no peaceful demonstrations.

If Cameron can find
one penny of asset in Britain
I will poke
my fingers in his eyes.

The young people are given drugs
by Al Qa'eda.
These terrorists are a few cells.

My people love me
They will die for Moammar
They will die.

© Malcolm Saunders (Malpoet)


Gaddaffi says he will not surrender

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Retired, cantankerous, libertarian and occasionally a poet, I am probably malodorous, but seek to avoid being malicious or malevolent so I vent malapert musings through malpoetry. Malpoet blog

I ran for President and they said I lost.
I ran a blog when hundreds of thousands of people
came onto the streets and begged me to lead them.
I ran into trouble.

Iran is my homeland.
Iran is a birthplace of civilisation.
Iran of poets and philosophers is hidden.
Iran is in trouble.

I ran Iran in my mind to a better place.
I cannot run.
Iran is my home.
To die at home is the dream of everyone.

© Malcolm Saunders (Malpoet)

Iran: Mir Hossein Mousavi and Mehdi Karroubi 'arrested'
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Retired, cantankerous, libertarian and occasionally a poet, I am probably malodorous, but seek to avoid being malicious or malevolent so I vent malapert musings through malpoetry.

Three rashers a day
is all I can have.
Three rashers a day and five veg.
A small glass of wine is really OK
poured precisely from
unit pipettes.

No fags are allowed
and weed's still illegal,
but three rashers
can grace my plate.
Must it be back
or is streaky permitted?
Does the seventy grams include fat?

I can eat lots of eggs,
they have been found
not guilty,
but a brussel sprout omelette
lacks
je ne sais quoi.

I'll reflect on this guidance
when thought is conducive
after my brandy,
pie, chips
and cigar.

© Malcolm Saunders (Malpoet)


25 Feb 2011 - Government experts urging Britons to eat less meat
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Retired, cantankerous, libertarian and occasionally a poet, I am probably malodorous, but seek to avoid being malicious or malevolent so I vent malapert musings through malpoetry.

Malpoet blog